Blind Item Collective

Ugly Betty Soundbite

Wilhemina, inciting Marc to use 24 tactics to locate Claire Meade on Ugly Betty:

''Trace the call. I don't know, figure it out. Triangulate the signal!''

The Lesbonic Top 40 Songstress

CDAN: This slightly chubby female Top 40 singer who is in the valley after coming down from a very big peak, has always had whispers surround her about her sexuality. Turns out they are more then whispers. Our singer and her girlfriend are now living together. To make it look more palatable, she also invited another woman to move in so it looks like they are all roommates. Having the third woman move in also makes it easier for our singer to indulge in the pills she loves so much as the third woman is also the singer's dealer.

Methinks: Kelly Clarkson

SMG Seems Kind of Great

"Not only is it bright pink with the bell and streamers and the whole thing, but it has Hello Kitty tires. Every time I leave my apartment, my doorman just shakes his head."

—Sarah Michelle Gellar on her bicycle [Self via E Online]

Quotable

"It's easy, if you're a poet, to write complex verses like, 'I'm coming after you like VWXYZ.' Just think about that. It's like, 'Yo, V does come after U! That's fucking crazy!' My mind thinks like that all the time, coming up with crazy clever metaphors and rhymery thingies."

—Will.I.Am on his creative process [via Radar]

Linkalicious

It's Britney Bitch - a letter

Letterman grills Paris and its great

Someone's grumpy

First Look at Katie Holmes' first role since Tom. It looks terrible.

Scientology is creepier than ever

Brett Ratner is also creepy

Soundbite

"They don't sell my size on the rack sir, they had to build mine from scratch and those suits are unforgiving. Really unforgiving. Not only does it accentuate the shape that you're not in, but it also fucking accentuates the fact that you don't have a dick to speak of. It's the most humiliating piece of clothing a fat person could ever put on."

—Kevin Smith on donning a wetsuit for a role

Kindhearted

Reveals from CDAN:

September 26, 2007

#1 When Halo3 was released the other night, this world famous athlete was waiting in line just like everyone else. At midnight he bought copies of the game for himself, for his kids and for the twenty other people who had been standing in line with him.

Answer-David Beckham


September 20, 2007

#2 This former A+ film actor and now a B+er with some issues has been known in the past to lend a helping hand. This time he was returning from the set of his latest film when he saw a couple on the side of the road and their car obviously not going anywhere because of the smoke coming out of it. The shoulder was very narrow and the car was almost on the highway, but no one was stopping. Our actor stopped the car he was driving and he and his passenger got out to see if they could help. After discovering the couple had no cell phone with them, and were on vacation and didn't know anyone to call, our actor let them borrow his phone and call for help. Help was going to be at least 90 minutes, so our actor offered them a lift. The problem was he was driving a two seater, and there were four people total including the actor, his companion, and the couple. Our actor told the companion/assistant to stay behind and watch the car, and then got the couple situated in the passenger seat with the woman sitting on the man's lap. He then drove them to their hotel 30 minutes away, bought them dinner and stayed with them until our actor's companion/assistant showed up at the hotel with tow truck and broken down car which was taken back to the place from which it was rented.

Answer - Ben Affleck

Face Trainwreck: Fergie Fug

One Literally Closeted Blind Vice

Oh, it was such a gay party, and by that definition I don’t mean gay gay, just a good time. A typical Hollywood do, the festive bash was at a posh residence. Stars from both screens were mingling right next to the Diet Cokes, the boozy cocktails and the pigs in blankets. And in the middle of it all, nonfamous babes ‘n’ hons were oh so casually just la-dee-dah-ing it up, pretending like mad they weren’t desperate to be the human blanket around Dewbie Stammer’s very own little piggy.

Oh, that Dewb, such the charmer. Never a classically handsome dude, D has nevertheless—like many not exactly stunning guys, Owen Wilson, for ince—always managed to keep the gals fretting by his side. Alas, to no avail. No one woman has ever seemed quite fretlicous enough to warrant being by Dewbie’s side for very long, quel crap.

But that certainly didn’t keep the femmes from following Mr. S round the above party, as (pathetically) discreet as they thought they were being. So very ironically, it turned out to be a guy who made the following discovery:

A fellow guest got bored. After all, it was late, and a lot of the major players, not to mention the soiree’s staff, had gone home. Said guy went to the coat check room, which had been abandoned, and he headed back into the furthest interior space inside the long closet. He heard moans. And he heard slurps. And he realized Missy Coat Check might just still be around after all, getting a very nice tip from a fellow departing reveler.

But when the dude got to the back of the check area, looking up from his crouched position and staring back was a superflushed Dewbie Stammer, having just finished servicing a guy lying down on the floor. No wonder Dewbie never seems to meet the right girl!

(He’s always looking for the right trick in a box.)

And It Ain't

Methinks: Justin Timberlake? Nope, he was notted by Ted C, who said to think slightly older.

The other 'dick in a box' guy Andy Samberg? (Nope, Ted C notted Andy on Monday, said to think more TV and less wannabe hearthrob).

Jeremy Piven? (if, as I've said before the aint's might not always be aint's) Maybe!

Chris Angel? A great guess, especially as Perez already outed him but nope, he's not 'TV'.

Wipe that Shit-Eating Grin Off Your Face Young Man

Best Week Ever:

It would certainly explain that Grin: Which A-list Hollywood actor is well known among the dominatrix community for being a frequent client? Sure, he’s linked with various model-types, but in actuality, he’d much rather be tied up and whipped by some of New York’s finest leather-clad doms. But that’s not all. In addition to being treated like human garbage, he also enjoys… err, how do we put this… eating human poop. Yes, sometimes a sh*t-eating grin can be a literal term as well.

That being said, we have a confession: We would gladly drop trou and serve this hunk a steamin’ pile of excrement in exchange for just one night of bliss — he’s one of our favorite actors! It’s because of this reason we refuse to give you anymore hints…

Side Note: We can’t stop singing the term “E. Coli” in the same manner of those old Ricola commercials. (”EEEE coliiii”) We will be doing this for about the next hour or so. That is all.

UPDATE: Oh my freaking goddd, you guys are hilariously insane. Well, I said I’d give another hint at 100 comments, and I’m a lady of my word, so here it is:

He’s between 25 and 50 years old. That should stop those more elderly guesses floating around.

For every hundred comments, I’ll drop another hint!

UPDATE 2: OK, seriously, wading through these comments has made my afternoon. For your next hint:

He has some television experience under his belt.

And yes… his name has been mentioned already. Cruel, I know!

UPDATE 3: Obviously not realizing how serious you guys were about this little comment/hint agreement we have going, I have to start adjusting my hints so that I don’t start RUNNING OUT of them. So here’s the next one, which should whittle some more guys out:

He has won a major award! And no, it’s not a leg lamp.

Discuss.

UPDATE 4: OK, look. I don’t know what I’ve done. We’re up to 400 comments now, and I really think I made a huge mistake with this little “deal.” Especially seeing as it’s almost quittin’ time and I have to get my hair did for the Office premiere tonight. So here’s your hint for tonight, and if I’m feeling generous (which I usually am), I’ll likely throw up (literally) another one tomorrow morning. But as far as giving away the answer… don’t count on it.

So, today’s last hint:

He was NOT born on the East Coast of the continental United States.

Methinks: Clooney?!?! Noooooooooooooooooooooo. He is a grinner. Born in Kentucky, TV, major award, dates model types (but never for long - wonder why?) To me he always seems like he's hiding something from the public/media and enjoying it. But that's just me.

Other possibilities: The Pittmeister? After all Gwyn, Jen and Ange have all modelled;  Leonardo Dicaprio always dates models but he ain't a grinner, Nicholas Cage has a smarmy grin, Jamie Foxx has a hella smarmy grin, Owen Wilson whp Page 6 says likes licking butts for hours (suggestive much?), Heath Ledger has a joker grin and lives on the east coast now so could frequent 'new york dominatrixs'; Antonio Banderas; Orlando Bloom. Not Will Smith because he was born in Philly.

Hey what's the f's the deal with the Ricola ad??